I'm the alpha now

snoden:

me: it’s hot
satan: it’s the heat

(via bisexualmichaellangdon)

silentauroriamthereal:

crustysvm:

witchfromthemidwest:

I CLAIM THAT SHIT

AMEN

Can’t afford not to reblog this. Hope it works for all of us!

(Source: thatpettyblackgirl, via katy-l-wood)

thebootydiaries:

itzjessie:

thebootydiaries:

some nerd: hey do u know how to read 

 me (cool and has a skateboard): no

Wow! How can you not read? You typed it LOL.

i have a skateboard

(via thebootydiaries)

egobirth:

lil-nefertitties:

egobirth:

i make ya man wanna speak spanish

Italian*👼

make ur own sphagetti ass post giada de laurentis

(Source: marcitlali, via thebootydiaries)

thebootydiaries:

How did I wake up in the middle of the night with the funniest tweet idea and it was this

(Source: thebootydiaries, via thebootydiaries)

meet-foreverjester:

hullaballoons:

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

“Bees?”

“HE PICKED THE BEES!!” *chefs angrily shake jars of bees*

(via thebootydiaries)

bi-thor:

the scene in spiderman: homecoming (2017) where the waiter gives aunt may free sticky rice pudding and winks at her establishes two things. one: people are attracted to may. two: may does not react to the advances of men. because of tony stark’s (disgusting) comments about her appearance as well as mr. delmar’s, we already know at this point in the film that people are generally attracted to may. this leads us to believe that the sole function of that scene was to establish that may is not affected by flirting from men. thus in this point we see that may is a lesbian. in this essay i will

(via bisexualmichaellangdon)

hi-im-puka:

dailytweets:

Fuck you I’ll reblog it cuz it’s an elephant strawberry I need no other reason

(via ruinedchildhood)